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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28674843">Friends, Enemies, Lovers and Everything In Between</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacob_M_Bosch/pseuds/Jacob_M_Bosch'>Jacob_M_Bosch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Vampire Turning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:42:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28674843</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacob_M_Bosch/pseuds/Jacob_M_Bosch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander is turned. Willow "saves" him when she returns his soul, but he's still lost, still hurting... and Willow knows just who to blame.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angel/Buffy Summers, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Willow Rosenberg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Friends, Enemies, Lovers and Everything In Between</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything was fine the day after Xander died, and the second day, too. Buffy and Angel had successfully tricked Faith into telling them about the Ascension, then the pair came back to the Library and told Giles what they’d learned. From there things started to move very fast. Researching the Mayor’s Ascension became their top priority.</p><p>They worked into the next morning, even Angel stayed to help. There was a lot of tension flying around the room between Buffy and Angel and Willow resolved to ask Buffy about it later because she couldn’t let herself get distracted. She did ask where Xander was when Buffy and Angel returned, Willow could claim that much at least. Angel said he ran into Xander and that he was fine. She didn’t want to press the issue. Oz was sitting next to her, quiet, but she sensed him tense when she asked about Xander. </p><p>By the second day they let themselves breathe again, and regained their confidence. How many world ending events had they put a stop to? They would beat back Mayor Wilkins and Faith just like they beat back previous baddies that wanted to change the world in apocalyptic ways. Giles even encouraged them to go to class—in Angel’s case to go home and rest. Grateful to return to an environment she could control, Willow hurried to English Lit. </p><p>Twenty minutes into the class Willow looked over at Xander’s empty desk and wondered where he was.</p><p> </p><p>Xander didn’t carry his driver’s license like he was supposed to; not even his school identification. Once she figured that out, it was simple enough to figure out his body was found and the Coroners hauled him away as a John Doe. </p><p>She hacked into the SPD and accessed his autopsy records. She had to extrapolate a lot before she found his autopsy. There were twelve John Does in the morgue with Xander. Half of them had also been mysteriously blood-free. She had to match Xander’s height, weight, and things like that to find his file. </p><p>She wept when she finally saw the crime scene photos.</p><p>She studied every detail. A vampire drained him. The Coroner’s findings indicated he was stabbed in the throat and bled out. She’s grateful all the vampire did was feed—they didn’t torture him. There didn’t seem to be any signs of a struggle, except a bruise on his face, which indicated he was probably still unconscious when he was drained. Willow was sure that had to be the case, because she knew Xander would fight like hell before he let himself be taken so easily.</p><p>Willow printed out a copy of the coroner’s report and started a file of her own. She borrowed a folder from Giles’s office and labeled it Harris, Alexander L. She put the file in her backpack then went to class.</p><p>Weeks later, Buffy still didn’t know Xander was dead. She thought the Mayor grabbed him to use as leverage. Willow let her keep believing that.</p><p>Willow didn’t want to tell Buffy what become of Xander. Not because it would hurt Buffy. Willow didn’t care about that, but because a dark, unkind part of Willow knew what Buffy would do when she found out the truth.</p><p>At first Buffy would cry. Blame herself, then cry some more, and then have everyone fall all over themselves to comfort her. When that was done, Buffy would blame Angel for three minutes before they both decided no one was at fault and it was all just some tragic happenstance.</p><p>Willow couldn’t help but seethe at her less than kind prediction. She knew she imagined the worst of Buffy, of Angel, but she hated them. She couldn’t stop hating them long enough to give them the benefit of doubt—she couldn’t <i>not</i> think of them as anything but selfish monsters.</p><p> </p><p>Oz.</p><p>Oz knew she knew something about Xander. He knew her better than anyone, and he saw how she burned. And he saw how she went cold when Buffy talked about storming City Hall. </p><p>She almost ended it with him. But it wasn’t his fault. In the circle of betrayal they all held hands in, he stood apart. Quiet. Sweet. Honest and true.</p><p>They made love the day before she found the orb. He didn’t rebuff her this time. Maybe he sensed she wanted someone, anyone to hold onto before she flung herself over the proverbial cliff. For a night, Willow was calm. There was no anger to cloud her thoughts, to make her hate those she loved. Just Oz’s warmth surrounding her. His hardness inside her until reaches an orgasm for the first time without using her hands. </p><p>After she finds Xander, Willow wants to take him and Oz away. </p><p>And then who knows?</p><p> </p><p>When she claimed Xander’s soul and placed it into the orb, it was easy. The first time she tried the spell with Angel it almost killed her… Bastard...</p><p>—She breathes and steadies herself— </p><p>She returned Angel’s soul for Buffy, so she shouldn’t resent the effort. </p><p>Xander’s soul makes the orb pulsate with white light. Willow held it against her chest and cried. She whispered sorry over and over until her body was curled around the orb on her bedroom floor.</p><p> </p><p>She shouldn’t have waited as long as she did, she knows that. She knows the thing wearing Xander’s body killed. She knows he will have to live with everything the twisted up version of himself had done when she brings him back. </p><p>She knows what he’ll do then. She has to bring him to her first. She doesn’t know where he—it—is. Whatever flavor of monster it is, it doesn’t taste like Angelus. He never came to taunt them, or to hurt them. He’s hidden himself away.</p><p>Because… the thing that looked like Xander, it knew better.</p><p>She does find him. He’s sleeping in a crypt the morning a locator spell leads her to him. Four bodies, drained to death, are scattered on the floor of the crypt. It slept with its head resting on the back of a woman who’d been stripped naked. Her dark skin covered in puncture marks and hickeys. </p><p>Willow almost ran out the crypt. She didn’t want to see this. She didn’t want to know about this.</p><p>It opened its eyes when it heard Willow choke back a sob. They stared at each other without saying a word. It had dead eyes, and looked at her like it didn’t know her. It wasn’t until she took the orb from her pack and held out for him to see that a flash of emotion showed on his pale face.</p><p>He stood and fastened his jeans as he did so, and Willow fought the urge to close her eyes.</p><p>“He’ll kill himself, you know that,” It said.</p><p>“I’ll be there for him.”</p><p>“Like you were before? I seem to remember you pushing him away the second things got too inconvenient for you.”</p><p>Willow didn’t bite. Before didn’t matter, what mattered was what comes next. She would be there for him all the way.</p><p>“Xander will remember what I’m about to say, but I want you to hear it, too. Take it back with you to where ever you end up.”</p><p>Willow’s began to speak the words to a spell, and as she anticipated, he lunged at her only to bounce off the wall of protection she placed between them.</p><p>“There won’t be any loop-holes, no happiness clauses,” Willow said. “When he comes back, you won’t be. Not ever. I made sure of it.”</p><p>Its face turned inhuman when it snarled at her from the floor. “I’ll kill you for this, you bitch!”</p><p>“I love you, Xander. I know it’ll be hard for you to hear after you come back, but I love you so much. No matter what, I always will.”</p><p>The next words she spoke were the re-ensoulment spell. The words flowed from her smoothly. The power that filled her built until she could feel herself overflowing with what she needed to pour Xander’s soul back into his body. The thing currently occupying it beat its fists impotently against the protection wall, cursing her and promising to violate her in ways she couldn’t imagine. Willow clenched her hands into fists and pushed Xander’s soul back to where it was supposed to be.</p><p>Xander’s eyes widened and Willow saw them glow with a white luminescence just before he stumbled back and tripped over one of the bodies in the crypt. Then the orb vanished from Willow’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>Xander huddled in the corner of the crypt. He made himself as small as he could and stared at the bodies in front of him. He stared at the naked woman’s body the most. His eyes would look hollow one moment, then shocked and horrified the next.</p><p>Willow wanted go to him, but she couldn’t risk lowering the wall. The thing that had been Xander was right about one thing: Xander would run into the sunlight if she gave him the chance.</p><p>Then it happened.</p><p>Willow dropped to her knees without realizing it, and Xander… Xander tried to put his face through the wall behind him.</p><p>The woman slowly sat up. The marks on her body healed in moments, leaving behind perfectly smooth, unblemished brown skin. When she stood, Willow could understand why she caught the thing wearing Xander’s skin’s attention: she was beautiful and sexy in a way that was impossible to ignore. She had unruly, dark curly hair, an athletic body, full breasts and a well-sculpted behind. Physically, she was a palette swap of Cordelia, though she was a few years older than the cheerleader. </p><p>The woman stretched, utterly unashamed of her nudity.</p><p>“Wow, you had so much fun with me last night! I think I even went to O-town a few times at the end. Who knew being raped and strangled near to death was such a turn on?” the woman told Xander, not taking any notice of how Xander hid his face from the room.</p><p>When the woman turned around and saw Willow sprawled on the floor, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows rose.</p><p>“Cute! Is she here to play with us, too?” the woman asked. </p><p>Willow was too upset to blush at the new vampire’s full-frontal nakedness, or her lewd suggestion.</p><p>“Leave her alone,” Xander said with his face still pressed against the wall.</p><p>Willow wasn’t sure who he said it to.</p><p>“Selfish,” The woman pouted before she began searching the crypt, Willow guessed, for her clothes.</p><p>Xander didn’t move an inch as the new vampire picked up the shredded rags of what looked like a black mini-skirt and a red spaghetti strapped blouse.</p><p>“Look at what you did! I can’t wear these now! Only thing you went rougher on was my…”</p><p>“Stop it,” Xander said.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I said, stop talking to me.”</p><p>“What’s your problem?”</p><p>“Please stop. Please…”</p><p>“Whatever. You’re so weird.”</p><p>The woman went over to one of the other bodies and began stripping an article of clothing from each of them. A shirt from one, pants and shoes, from another. When she was dressed she looked her new outfit over with disappointment.</p><p>“I look like a cross-dresser. Still hot though. I’d do me.” She looked at Willow. “Would you do me?” Then she laughed. “Yeah, you’d do me!”</p><p>Then the woman sauntered towards Willow and bumped into the protection wall.</p><p>“What the…? What’s this thing?” she asked as she ran her hand over the invisible barrier.</p><p>“You can’t leave,” Willow said when she finally found her voice again.</p><p>“Why not? It’s a free country!”</p><p>“You’re a vampire. I can’t let you leave here. You’ll hurt people.”</p><p>“That sounds... like something I definitely want to do. Huh.” The woman turned back to Xander. “Hey, you turned me into a vampire, didn’t you?”</p><p>Xander didn’t move and he didn’t speak.</p><p>The woman turned back to Willow. “Is that why I’m not mad about the whole rape-murder thing?” she asked.</p><p>Willow could only nod.</p><p>“Phew! I was worried I turned into a masochist! Although, I still get a little wet thinking about his hands around my throat. Mmm.”</p><p> </p><p>Willow hadn’t planned on there being another vampire to contend with. It never even occurred to her Xander would turn anyone. It seemed unthinkable.</p><p>Willow didn’t want to get anyone else involved, especially not Buffy and Angel. But she needed to get Xander away from the woman he turned, and fast. There was no telling what being confronted with the terrible things the vampire version of him did was doing to his mind.</p><p>“I’m hungry,” the new vampire said.</p><p>Willow had composed herself and returned to her feet by then. Xander hadn’t moved from the corner of the crypt.</p><p>“I think I need blood. That sounds like it’ll feed my need.”</p><p>“You’re not getting blood.”</p><p>“So, I should starve? How’s that fair?”</p><p>Willow ignored her and tried to decide what to do with the new vampire. She hadn’t brought a stake because she had no intention of using one on Xander. She might be able to force the vampire outside into the sun, but Willow worried how Xander would react if he saw that.</p><p>It could take weeks to find another orb. Maybe even months. Even if Willow could somehow justify re-ensouling the vampire, she couldn’t hold them in the crypt for that long. She needed help. There was no way around it.</p><p>“Xander, I need to go. But I swear I’ll be back really soon, okay?”</p><p>Xander didn’t respond. His stillness was so unnerving and painful to watch.</p><p>“His name’s Xander?” the woman asked.</p><p>Willow ignored her and cast one last look at Xander before she turned to leave the crypt.</p><p>“Wait! You can’t leave me here!”</p><p>“I’ll be back,” Willow said.</p><p>“Will you bring me back someone to drink?”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“I’m wasting away here! How about a baby? I think a baby would really hit the spot. They’re so small, hardly anyone will miss it!”</p><p>Willow just stared at the new vampire and blinked. The vampire stared back and genuinely waited for an answer.</p><p>“No. Babies!” Willow said through gritted teeth.</p><p>“Oh, right. Oh my God, you’re right! Babies are like one those things people want to keep alive. I knew that. I mean, I know that.” The vampire held up her hands. “How about a really, really old person—oh, c’mon—!”</p><p>Willow walked out of the crypt and slammed the door in the vampire’s face.</p><p> </p><p>She went to Giles. She was never angry with him, but he belonged to Buffy. He would always stand by her; defend her. Even when what she did was indefensible.</p><p>“My God. How?”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter, Giles,” Willow said. “I need to get him out of that crypt, and away from those bodies.”</p><p>They were in Giles’s office with the door closed. Giles usually didn’t allow any of them to be in the office with him with it closed, but Willow had insisted. Strenuously.</p><p>“Willow, this is… t-this is overwhelming. Give me a moment to—”</p><p>“Every second he’s in there alone with that… woman, is tearing him apart. I need your help. He needs your help. Right now!”</p><p>“Of course, I understand. This must very… yes, you’re right. What can I do?”</p><p>Relieved, Willow said, “I need the tranquilizer gun and your car.”</p><p>“Of course. We should contact Buffy just—”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Why on earth not? Certainly you don't believe she would do anything to harm Xander even in his current condition?”</p><p>She’s the reason he’s in his current condition! Willow wanted to scream at Giles. But she knew if he sensed just how angry she was he would begin to doubt her judgment. Then he’ll bring Buffy, maybe even Angel, in to help them. </p><p>Willow could hide her anger at Buffy—it’d be hard, but she could do it. </p><p>But <i>never</i> Angel.</p><p>“No, of course not,” Willow said, trying to put on the air of a worried friend. “But Buffy would be shattered if she knew Xander was turned. After everything that happened with Faith and Angel, I don’t think she needs to know until after we have Xander tucked away where we can take care of him.”</p><p>Giles was quiet as he considered her explanation to keep Buffy unaware of Xander’s situation.</p><p>“You may have a point,” Giles said finally, “but we cannot keep such news from her for too long. She deserves to know someone she cares about has been… altered in such a way.”</p><p>Willow nodded as though she agreed. “I know. Let’s just get Xander safe first. Then we’ll tell her. Promise.”</p><p> </p><p>Giles took her back to the crypt. He carried the tranquilizer gun strapped over his shoulder, and wore a grim expression. He also brought along stakes, though Willow made him promise not to use them. Not even on the new vampire lady.</p><p>“Willow, returning Xander’s soul was an impressive feat, no doubt, but there could be dire consequences if you attempt it again so soon.”</p><p>“We can’t kill her, Giles,” Willow said, fully understanding what he was implying. “He feels responsible, I know he does. If we have to dust her that’s just one more thing he’s going to have to live with.”</p><p>“Again, I ask you to reconsider bringing Angel here. Surely he would know how to guide Xander. Their situations are quite similar, after all.”</p><p>Willow struggled to restrain her anger before she could reply.</p><p>“Daytime, remember? This can’t wait.”</p><p>Giles seemed to accept her excuse much to Willow’s relief.</p><p>When they went inside Xander was still in his corner. Willow was sure he hadn’t moved an inch. The new vampire was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the crypt leafing through a wallet that most likely belonged to one of the dead men in the crypt. She looked up when she heard them enter, then threw the wallet off to the side.</p><p>“Finally!” She looked at Giles. “He’s not even super old. I bet he still tastes delish!”</p><p>Willow scowled and said, “He is not your food!”</p><p>“Indeed not,” Giles confirmed, appalled.</p><p>“Starving prisoners is against the Geneva Convention, you know!”</p><p>“Who is this again?” Giles asked.</p><p>“I didn’t ask her name. You know, just in case…”</p><p>The vampire squinted. “In case, what?”</p><p>“Nothing. We’re going to shoot you now,” Willow said.</p><p>“What the hell! Why? Just because I want to eat a few babies?”</p><p>“Giles, shoot her.”</p><p>The tranquilizer puffed when Giles fired a dart into the vampire’s chest.</p><p>“You… people… suck so… much…”</p><p>The vampire collapsed to the floor. Giles reloaded the gun then shot the vampire again.</p><p>“And Xander?”</p><p>They both looked at Xander. He still hadn’t budged.</p><p>Willow bit her lip. </p><p>The sun was still out.</p><p>She nodded. </p><p>Giles reloaded and fired a dart into Xander’s arm.</p><p>“Again.”</p><p>Giles paused for a moment before he quietly reloaded and fired a second dart into one of Xander’s calves.</p><p>They unfolded Xander and dragged him out of the corner. They then placed him beside the woman so Willow could cast the shadow spell on them both.</p><p>“Where will you put them?” Giles asked when Willow was done.</p><p>“I already secured the basement at my house. I can keep them there until we figure out what to do.”</p><p>“Willow? How long have you known about Xander being turned?”</p><p>Willow closed her eyes. She’d been so relieved to finally be able to get to Xander she made a mistake. She gave Giles enough time to think. </p><p>Maybe she could have prepared the re-ensoulment spell quickly, and maybe she had an extra orb laying around in case Angel lost his soul again—all possible. But reinforcing a space to be vampire proof would have taken time.</p><p>“Not long,” she replied.</p><p>“How long, exactly?”</p><p>Willow had a very clear choice to make. She could lie, or tell Giles the truth. She didn’t want to lie to him. Lies are how they ended up where they were.</p><p>“Weeks.”</p><p>“Willow.”</p><p>There was no admonishment in Giles’s voice, just confusion and sadness. “Why keep such a terrible thing to yourself for so long? You needn’t have gone through this all on your own.”</p><p>Willow felt her eyes burn, but she didn’t allow herself to cry. She knelt beside Xander’s unconscious body and stroked his face tenderly. The self-loathing that had been etched across his face vanished as he slept. </p><p>His skin was so cold.</p><p>“Let’s get them into your car,” she said.</p><p>Giles gave a frustrated sigh before he said, “The shadow spell?”</p><p>“Only appears in direct sunlight.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>They stacked Xander and the vampire into Giles’s back seat. It was cramped, but they just barely fit.</p><p>“Willow, when this is… settled, whatever that looks like, we need to discuss what has happened. How it happened,” Giles said after they climbed into the car as well. </p><p>Willow looked at him and saw the concern on his face, and also his determination to discover the truth he now knew she’d kept from him.</p><p>Giles waited until Willow nodded before he started the car and drove away from the cemetery.</p><p> </p><p>They chained them both in the basement. Xander on one side, the woman on the other. </p><p>Willow put the acoustic foam on the walls herself, and covered the windows overlooking the back and front yards with sheet metal that was also wrapped in the sound proofing foam. She hired a contractor to come in and bolt two, twenty foot long chains to the cement floor—two in case Xander wanted a change of scenery.</p><p>Once Xander and the woman were secured Giles insisted they speak upstairs. Willow wanted to be there when Xander woke up, so he knew he wasn’t alone. That she would stay by his side, always. </p><p>But Giles could not be moved, and in the end, Willow reluctantly complied. </p><p>“What happened to Xander, Willow?”</p><p>“Would you like some tea? My mom has so many kinds.”</p><p>“Willow.”</p><p>Willow surrendered and sat on the sofa in the living room while Giles stood near the infrequently used television.</p><p>“They killed him,” Willow said.</p><p>“Whom?”</p><p>“Angel and Faith.”</p><p>“Angel… I don’t understand. Are you saying Angel turned Xander?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“How.. how do you know this?”</p><p>Willow took several calming breaths before she replied. She knew the more unhinged she sounded the less likely Giles was to take her seriously. He would think she was misreading the situation out of anger.</p><p>“Angel said he saw Xander that night.”</p><p>“Which night?”</p><p>“The night he tricked Faith into thinking he was Angelus.”</p><p>Giles inhaled sharply, but didn’t say anything. He motioned for Willow to continue.</p><p>“If he was telling the truth, then he was the last person to see Xander alive.”</p><p>“That hardly proves he—”</p><p>Willow took Xander’s autopsy file out of her backpack and handed it to Giles.</p><p>“There was a bruise on Xander’s face. I thought he fought back and the vampire that attacked him knocked him out then fed. But vampires don’t really do that kind of thing. Knock people out so they can feed on them.”</p><p>Giles nodded as he scanned the file. “Yes, fear makes the victim’s blood taste better. Or so I’ve read from accounts.”</p><p>“And Xander letting a vamp get close enough to attack him? His stake was still in his pocket, Giles. It didn’t make sense.”</p><p>“Willow—”</p><p>“Maybe Angel saw him before... maybe. But when he claimed he saw Xander, Angel was pretending to be Angelus. And he was with Faith the whole time to trick her into believing he was a big bad again. So what would Angel do if he ran across Xander during that time?”</p><p>Giles handed the file back to Willow. </p><p>“He might try to sell the ruse.”</p><p>“Exactly!” Willow said with an emphatic nod.</p><p>“Willow. You don’t really believe Angel would go so far as to kill Xander in such a manner? He just isn’t capable of such a thing.”</p><p>“Then why did he lie about Xander being fine? Why?”</p><p>“This awful thing could have happened after he crossed paths with Xander.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Willow—”</p><p>“No!” Willow leapt to her feet and screamed.</p><p>Giles held up his hands. “I understand that you are upset, of course you are, but… have you considered asking Angel what happened that night?”</p><p>“He’d lie.”</p><p>“Then we can ask Xander when he awakens.”</p><p>“No. No, he shouldn’t have to relive—”</p><p>“We must learn the truth of this. You are too angry. I see it in your eyes: you want to kill Angel. The face you’re making right now, I’ve seen it looking back at me in the mirror.”</p><p>Willow felt caught. Suddenly cut open and revealed by Giles’s accusation. He spoke aloud something she hadn’t even admitted to herself. She did want to kill Angel. And Faith. And somewhere dark, in a place she didn’t dare look, she wanted to kill Buffy, too.</p><p>“We’ll learn the truth from Xander. Then we can work out where we go from there. Agreed?”</p><p>Willow clenched her hands into fists.</p><p>“Okay,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>The door to the basement still needed to be soundproofed. The contractor Willow hired was coming to replace the dark mahogany door with an identical door filled with acoustic foam. The woman’s shouts made it through the soon to be replace door and alerted them that at least she was conscious. When Willow and Giles went down into the basement they saw that Xander was also awake, though he hadn’t moved on matting Willow put down for him.</p><p>“How come he gets a nice comfy spot to sleep and I get the concrete? Is this because I’m black? Are you guys just super racist?”</p><p>“What is your name?” Giles asked the vampire.</p><p>“How nice of you to ask! I’m Genny. Genny Warner. Nice to meet you!”</p><p>Giles and Willow stiffen and exchanged glances after the vampire told them her name.</p><p>“I thought it was funny,” Xander said. He stared at the basement ceiling blankly as he spoke. “Genny with a ‘gee’ instead of a ‘jay’. Hilarious, right?”</p><p>Xander turned his head to look at Giles squarely.</p><p>“I always wondered if Angelus did more than snap her neck. You found her in your bed, didn’t you? Ever think maybe Angel had a little “fun” before he,” Xander made a kek sound, “did the deed?”</p><p>Willow gasped when she realized what Xander was trying to do. She quickly moved in front of Xander before Giles lost his temper and attacked him. But when Willow saw Giles’s face she could tell he understood the horrible things said were meant to provoke and enrage him.</p><p>“He didn’t. I checked.”</p><p>“Surprised. She was such a hot piece of ass.”</p><p>“Giles, he doesn’t—”</p><p>“Nothing you say or do will make me harm you, Xander.”</p><p>Willow turned to look at Xander just in time to see his face crumple for a wink of time, before it flattened into an emotionless mask again.</p><p>“I don’t want to be this… thing. Dust me. Just… end it. Please.”</p><p>“We refuse,” Giles said before Willow could.</p><p>Xander’s eyes glistened and his mouth worked noiselessly. Then Willow saw his eyes go back to being wide and dull. As if the only things he could see were within, and what he saw there was shredding his soul apart.</p><p>“There’s something we must know, Xander,” Giles said.</p><p>“Giles, maybe now isn’t the—”</p><p>Giles silenced her with a look. </p><p>“How were you turned?” Giles asked.</p><p>For a moment it didn’t seem as if Xander would respond.</p><p>“I don’t remember. I woke up like... this.”</p><p>“What is the last thing you recall before you awoke?”</p><p>“Angel and Faith walking towards me. I said something… I don’t remember. What does it matter.” The last part was more of a listless statement than a question.</p><p>“It matters,” Giles whispered when he saw the fury that glimmered in Willow tearful eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“We must confront Angel and ask him what part, if any, he played in Xander’s turning,” Giles said.</p><p>They were once again in Willow’s living room, though Willow remained on her feet this time and fumed, while Giles tried, with little success, to calm her down.</p><p>“He did it. Don’t you see? He did it!”</p><p>“Please, Willow, you must calm down.” Giles placed his hands on her shoulders. “I think it’s time to take this to Buffy.”</p><p>Willow shook her head. “This is her fault! It was her stupid plan that got Xander k-ki—like he is!”</p><p>“I also knew of the plan,” Giles reminded her. “If Buffy is to blame, then so am I.”</p><p>Willow’s eyes hardened even further and she said, “It was her plan, not yours.”</p><p> “I agreed it was the best way to gain the information we needed on The Ascension. I offered no resistance. I also bare the responsibility of this outcome. Will you come to hate me as well?”</p><p>Willow shook head again and looked away. “Her plan.”</p><p>Giles sighed in exasperation then let his hands fall from Willow’s shoulders.</p><p>“I’m calling Buffy. When she arrives, we will discuss this rationally, and without recriminations. A terrible tragedy has befallen us all, and we must not allow ourselves to come apart now when we need each other more than ever.”</p><p>Willow felt tears running down her cheeks even as she continued to shake her head and rail against Giles’s words.</p><p>“Willow. Please.”</p><p>“Okay!” she shouted. “Do whatever you want! I don’t ca—!”</p><p>Giles embraced her, and the dam that had been holding back her sorrow and heartache finally burst. She buried her face against the lapel of his jacket and wept. Her entire body shook from the force of her sobs, and her legs wanted to crumpled under her. But Giles held her up, and allowed her to stay remain steady on her feet.</p><p>Willow wanted none of this—Xander a vampire, her simmering anger towards Buffy. Willow didn’t even want the hate she felt for Angel. But all those things she wanted to deny, were reality. There was no escape.</p><p>“I promise. We’ll make this right,” Giles said as he gently patted her on the back.</p><p>Willow, past her tears, through her despair, silently called him a liar.</p>
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